Lenses of pastoral counselor or christian therapist

OVERVIEW

Kyle and Debbie come to you, the pastoral counselor, for help. They have been married for 8 ½ years and have two small children, Abigail, who is 6 and Elyse, who is 3. Kyle works for a large pharmaceutical company. He travels often for his job. Debbie works from home for an online company in a part time, flexible capacity. Kyle and Debbie met near the end of their junior year in college and dated for about 3 years prior to getting married. Debbie was planning to continue her work in a corporate office for several years but became pregnant earlier than planned. Her pregnancy coincided with a big promotion for Kyle, so Debbie reluctantly decided to stay home rather than having her children in a daycare environment on Kyle`s insistence. She has often resented Kyle`s continued corporate success and wants to return to a job outside the home. She doesn`t believe she is the motherly type and struggles to remain a cheerful presence with her girls. Kyle doesn`t understand why Debbie is having a hard time staying at home because his mother did that for him and his sister. Debbie`s parents were both driven professionals and Debbie was planning to be a vice president in the company where she was employed. Debbie`s resentment toward Kyle has continued to grow, and she has refused to be physically intimate with him for several weeks.

Kyle and Debbie had been arguing about her returning to the work force just prior to a planned business trip for Kyle. Debbie had sent her resume into her former employer without Kyle`s knowledge, and he left for the trip angry and disappointed. He felt betrayed and when a female co-worker offered him companionship and company, he agreed. He returned home and confessed to Debbie that he had sex with his co-worker on that trip. Debbie was devastated, and Kyle was truly repentant. He acknowledged he was angry and that he was desiring a physical release. He honestly tells Debbie that he has never done this before and has no plans to do this again. He wants to make amends and will do whatever he needs to reconcile this relationship. Debbie does not think she wants a divorce but feels upset about the betrayal and Kyle`s lack of consideration for her desire to return to work.

1. Creating and finding the main areas of concern for Kyle and Debbie seen from the lenses of a pastoral counselor or Christian therapist?

2. Thinking of 3 goals the couple should set? Why these goals?

3. Creating how a pastoral counselor would help them accomplish those goals?